"I'm not a singer, I'm a father who sings. I never intended to be a singer or to sing. I was kidnapped, they took everything from me. I woke up there in a hospital with a bandaged hand that didn't respond, a leg in a cast, handcuffed to a bed, they even took my earring. What they didn't take, simply because they didn't know, was the real strength from within. It helped me maintain hope, health, and sanity. Music was there for me in the most difficult moments: songs by others that played in my head. After a few months in captivity, I found myself starting to create songs. I couldn't write them; I memorized the words in my head. I couldn't play or sing them, so I just imagined the melodies.
On February 15, 2025, I was released from captivity. After two days, at night, in a hospital (the right one), I went to a side room and, with a voice like a toad without oxygen, quietly, even with a little shame, I recorded all nine songs on my phone, lyrics and melody. A few weeks later, I decided that one day I would perform the songs in a show. That day was postponed due to medical matters, rehabilitation, family, Gaza, Iran, Lebanon, and mainly because I couldn't allow myself to perform like this when there were still hostages I left behind.
After a long journey, this day has arrived. Today the music will be released, first of all in a concert - and then the entire album will be released to the world. It is no coincidence that I am doing the first show here in Nir Oz, in my home. This is the same lawn on which I ran all my childhood, the lawn on which I met Mili for the first time, the lawn on which I raised two daughters, the lawn on which I fought, and the lawn where my friends fell. This is a lawn with a different green. This is the lawn on which there were happy events in the past; since then, mainly funerals. Today's event is not a celebration, not a party, not a closing of a circle, not a victory; it is simply part of the story. Even though I chose not to return to live in Nir Oz, the kibbutz is very important to me, and I hope it will be rebuilt with new life; I hope this event will be a cornerstone of its foundations. This is also your story. Thank you for coming."
These are the words written by Sagui Dekel-Chen from a booklet given to the 3,000 attendees at his show at Nir Oz last Monday, along with the lyrics to his songs. So much has been said about the show and how moving it was, but I want to share the words that Itay Mautner, the director of the show, shared last week in a post:
"For one evening, Kibbutz Nir Oz was full of life...
3,000 people filled the saddest lawn in the world. A lawn that knew a normal, pleasant, and beautiful life before that Saturday (and not only, of course), and since October 7th has simply lost signs of life. Make no mistake about it: Nir Oz has a present, and there is growth, and there are all sorts of beautiful words, but mourning prevails in everything; the horror is on the paths, and in general almost all of the residents have not returned.
On Monday evening, a member of the kibbutz, Sagui Dekel-Chen, took to an amazing stage with talented musicians and delicate screens and sang the songs he wrote in the tunnels.
The songs are moving and delicate and beautiful, but this evening was not only tested musically. Underneath the moving two and a quarter hours, there hid an undercurrent which was present throughout the way - it's simply unbelievable! It's unbelievable that he's alive, that his daughters and beloved Mili are with us, that his mother (who was also kidnapped and escaped from them) is there. And many more friends and supporters. A packed lawn, from heart to heart.
It's simply unfathomable, and throughout the show you are constantly reminded of this terrible/joyful fact.
I had the privilege of directing the show and working closely with Sagui and Mili. Throughout the entire process, I was careful not to turn this evening into another symbol of the government's false 'redemption', another moment of so-called unity.
It was a joyful evening that does not ignore the sadness. A colorful evening that sees all the black. An evening packed with people that sees the pit.
Thank you very much for the privilege of taking part in an evening like this. For the opportunity to create moments of catharsis in front of people who, for too long, have worked to achieve what should have been obvious - to bring our sons and daughters home.
And it was a tremendous evening that showed that music knows how to enter the wounded heart and does a dazzling job of polishing it.
Thank you to the wonderful Sagui, Oren Arnan, the hero from Shuki Weiss, to Michal and Daphna and Uri from the Israel Festival who invited, accompanied, and supported me, to the many friends who came to be with us on the grass...
I won
Now there is only one important job to do at the end of October, and we are on the right track".
I was curious to hear Sagui's songs the moment I heard about the show, and I was eager to listen to the entire album, Minus One. Some moments brought tears to my eyes, but there were also many moments of joy, celebrating the precious, ordinary moments of life. Here they are, track by track:
Song of Songs
All the songs, from all the years
Are playing in my head now one after another.
For each tune,
There is also a picture
Listen, I am singing them now to you quietly.
Love songs, with short sentences
That's how we fell in love when we were teens.
We don't let go of our hands
We sent promises and dreams in letters.
Vacation songs, they remind me of a feeling
A caravan, a mountain, the sea, snow, a campfire.
"Getting on a flight"
I remember the whole journey
To sing songs of freedom from here is a terribly difficult thing.
Songs in two voices, in the car with the girls
I remember when we drove to Dimona on Rosh Hashanah Eve
We sang out loud, now I'm singing in silence
I remember the chorus from Friday in the living room,
Drinking chocolate milk and coffee and listening to happy songs.
We danced with the girls
I also remember the smell of cake and a lovers' kiss.
Now I sing because what's even left?
It's love that reminds me how to breathe.
Now the tears are falling.
I promise to return home to complete the dream.
Simply a Simple Day
Last night we met by accident.
No special occasion, simply a simple day.
You said, "I'm here on the lawn playing with the girls
Make two coffees and come to the swings."
You welcomed me with a smile and a kiss
And three beautiful girls are jumping on me with joy
Saying, "There's a picnic today, we invited friends.
We'll bring pizza and dessert and blue skies."
I don't know how, we suddenly got to the showers
They want foam on the beard and tickles with towels.
Each one chose a story, the same one every day
Now there's only three of us, me and you and the dream
And suddenly I woke up, alone in sadness
I'm left with half a smile from you.
I just wanted to dream for two more minutes or so
Wait for me, and in another moment we will meet again by accident
Wait for me, and in another moment we will meet again by accident
And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fall asleep
I waited so much to see your faces
I hope tonight too we will meet again by accident
No special event, simply a simple day
And suddenly I woke up, alone in sadness
I'm left with half a smile from you.
I just wanted to dream for two more minutes or so
Wait for me, and in another moment we will meet again by accident
Wait for me, and in another moment we will meet again by accident
Simply a simple day
I Don't Know Your Name Yet
I haven't sung you a goodnight song yet.
I haven't brought you in for a close, close hug.
We haven't had a sleepless night, I haven't gotten a little burp out of you yet.
We haven't touched our noses together yet, you haven't pulled my beard yet.
We haven't walked to the field of flowers yet.
I haven't introduced you to all the friends yet.
A Saturday picnic in the orchard, that's not to be missed.
I haven't made you milk yet, you haven't spilled my coffee yet.
But in my thoughts
I feel your breath.
I imagine eyes with the calm of the skies.
I'm on my way to you,
Take care of your mother and your sisters.
And when you look out the window, send me a first smile,
I don't know your name yet...
I haven't dressed you in a white dress yet.
And in fact, we don't have any pictures together yet.
I haven't made you a bed yet.
I haven't bought you a gift yet.
I haven't kissed you at night when you are asleep.
But in my thoughts
I feel your breath.
I imagine eyes with the calm of the skies.
I'm on my way to you,
Take care of your mother and your sisters.
And when you look out the window, send me a first smile,
I don't know your name yet...
I don't know your name yet...
Tell me, what is your name?
A Bag of Hearts
I once read in fairy tales
About a beautiful girl, golden hair, kind blue eyes.
She was different from all the others,
Because she went everywhere with a bag full of hearts.
And she gave them to everyone around her,
To family and neighbors, to every friend, boy or girl.
And she decorated each heart, and on the back she wrote:
I love you too, no reason needed!
And if you see the girl from the story
Call her Bar or Berry or Barbur
I once read in folktales
About an eight-story chocolate castle.
At the top was a girl, the queen of all cures,
Because one hug from her solved all problems.
So she hugged everyone who was looking for joy,
Everyone wanted a hug, even the princess.
She hugged everyone who was in trouble.
She also hugged a sad mother.
I once read in monster stories
About a superhero girl with all kinds of powers.
Math exercise powers while doing a cartwheel.
A tent city with friends every day in the middle of the living room.
And you can't beat her superpowers,
She's smart, creative, talented, she's a producer.
And if you ever get caught in a rescue mission
Dial 284... Super B is on her way.
And then you'll see the girl from the story
Call her Bar or Berry or Barbur
I call her Berry
Thank You for Mili
Most of the time I write songs about you,
There's about a whole drawer.
Most of the time I think about what your eyes will say,
How do you catch butterflies of 20 years?
We saw the world, we broke waves, coffee on the moon, barefoot.
You taught me how to smile, how to talk, how to hug.
How can I explain to you what you are to me?
Thank you for Mili, she's everything to me.
Maybe you'll understand, maybe you'll believe
Thank you for Mili, she's my luck.
Most of the time I remember the warmth of your hands, from long ago
Then under the light in the corner.
We coordinated our breaths, we kissed on the lips
I've kept the taste for 20 years now.
I fell in love with all the colors, a dress and bangs, a pearl necklace.
Then you smiled a little smile, a rainbow appeared.
You brought me the sun as a gift.
Most of the time I imagine your beauty,
I also made you a crown of daisies.
I drew you on a background of happiness,
The three hearts are climbing on you.
Thank you for Mili, she is everything to me.
Maybe you'll understand, maybe you'll believe
Thank you for Mili, she's my luck.
Thank you for Mili, my Mili
My Corner
Yesterday they hung a mirror in the cell, on the bars.
I approached slowly, we hadn't seen each other for months.
I saw a few scars, there were some I hadn't seen.
I saw a few glances, a sad look I didn't recognize.
So I went back to my corner
Then I stood up, maybe we'll look from afar.
We'll slowly get to know each other, it's okay to be quiet for a while.
I saw a man standing hunched over, his hand hanging down, leaning to the right.
He seemed a little lost to me, he wasn't looking ahead.
So I went back to my corner
Why does a mirror just show a tired wrapper
When in fact everything inside is broken?
If that's all they see in you, we'll spread makeup on you.
At night I woke up, I approached shyly.
Let's talk alone, quietly, honestly.
I saw a strong man who is weak, he won't be able to hug.
I saw a strong man who is weak, he won't be able to get stronger.
So I went back to my corner
Why does a mirror just show a tired wrapper
When in fact everything inside is broken?
If that's all they see in you, we'll spread makeup on you.
In the morning, I woke up with wet eyes.
I stood in front of the mirror, asking about the girls.
Don't worry, they're all fine, relax, wash your face.
I'll remind you who you are, I have pictures, I have stories.
That's how we became friends,
Sharing scars, tears, pictures, and stories.
The Smile Factory
Every day a bit after the sunrise I push myself out of the blanket,
I see little Gali sleeping diagonally.
I go out on my tiptoes into a few seconds of silence,
And already from between all the sheets the smile factory comes out.
We go to the kindergarten either skipping or on a tricycle,
She notices every flower or just a stone or a bird.
And then she hears the sounds of a nearby tractor,
She already runs, "maybe it's Tata", we steal a good morning smile.
And when she begins: la
With her magic: la
Even without a word: la
Everyone smiles at her
She returns home, and even before the door shuts
She's at a party or hide-and-seek or makes a cake in the mud.
Then she wants a trip to the pool or to the horses across the street
And then to the playground, she'll create smiles there.
And when she begins: la
With her magic: la
Even without a word: la
Everyone smiles at her
It's time to go to sleep, she wants one last song,
About the girl who travels in a club car and a quad bike.
A few more caresses and it's already the sleep of the angels,
Because tomorrow, a bit after sunrise, the smile factory will be up.
And again she begins: la
With her magic: la
Even without a word: la
Everyone smiles at her
A Letter to Arik
Hey Arik, it's me.
We don't know each other, I just wanted to say thank you
For all the words, the melodies, I opened them in a tunnel.
"Between the dark and the hidden in our bitter world"
Did you check before you sang that - "there is a solution to disaster"?
Because I've been here for a year already, running from place to place, with a bag of hope.
Amidst longing, despair, anxiety, I have 70 kilos of love
Which I guard, because I remember
You told me that:
I have love in me and it will wake up and touch
I have love in me and it will win
Show me the "light at the end", just for a moment, even if it is far away.
I want to escape the tears, yesterday I even tried to laugh a little.
A cold night in front of concrete, imagining stars; there is one there, and there, and there,
I tell of "dreams of deer" to my four loves.
Whom I guard, because I remember
You told me that:
I have love in me and it will wake up and touch
I have love in me and it will win
The Song for Me
This song is for me,
No one wants to tell a story like mine.
Memories I don't want to remember,
Everything that happened after the light went out.
It contains thoughts that are hard to think about,
There's nowhere to run, maybe the end is near.
What could I have done? Maybe I had a choice.
They're shooting at my family, there's no way back.
They took me, bleeding and sad.
They took a happy life, when will I see you again?
When I'm in pain, hungry, scared, lonely and cold
I whisper to myself again, "Dad doesn't break".
With every longing I talk to you,
Tell me if you smiled today, it will comfort me.
Tell me about the kindergarten, the school, the baby, the hope?
Tell me if I left you enough love.
I wrote a song for each one, but it's not a sign.
It collects my tears, it collects the time.
A part of me gets stronger, recovers a little,
A part of me remains on Saturday morning.
Afraid to sing difficult words.
Afraid of the nightmares, afraid of screams.
Afraid of not coming back - there is a growing noise
But I'm afraid most of all of returning to an empty house.
Afraid of not coming back - there is a growing noise
But I'm afraid most of all of returning to an empty house.
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